Susan Smith: Enjoy those leftovers!

Originally published Nov. 28, 2008

By Susan Lampert Smith

Well, Thanksgiving 2008 is now in the refrigerator, in the form of leftovers, sandwiches and soups.

The picture above shows my husband, Matt, (aka the Turkey Guy), with Dale Marsden (aka the Honey Guy) at the Dane County Farmer's Market before Thanksgiving.

All our 200 turkeys made it to their destinations this year, some flying on airplanes, others taking the scenic route over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. We figure we fed at least 2,000 people with our turkeys this season, and are thankful to our customers and to the turkeys themselves for giving themselves so deliciously to our feasts.

I've got a few scratches from the great turkey roundup of 2008. (Think "Apocalypse Now," with snow and turkeys flying at your forehead.) But it makes the Red Turkey Mole we'll be taking to Lambeau Field on Sunday all the tastier.

Hope your holiday was tasty and that it gives you the strength to get up and shop today. The economy needs you!

Susan Smith: Last Bash at Union South

Originally published Nov. 20, 2008

By Susan Lampert Smith

Saturday's game against Cal Poly will mark the very last Badger Bash at Union South.

For more than 30 years, the Wisconsin Marching Band has charged up the fans during a pregame rally amid the bratwurst smoke of Wisconsin's other union.

The anonymous pile of gray concrete will come a tumbling down early next year, to make room for a new and improved student union serving the south end of campus. Not many will mourn its passing, but I will. Sure, it could never compete with the older Memorial Union, which has the Terrace, Lake Mendota, classic architecture, a Rathskellar and a venerable theater.

Union South has a bowling alley. And, did I mention, concrete?

Still, it holds a warmish spot in my heart, because I worked there as a student in the late 1970s, and met my husband and several of my lifelong friends while serving beer to the drunken Badger faithful.

Back then, we served so much beer on game days that we had a line of half-barrels, taps continually open, and just passed cups hand-to-hand beneath the taps until they were full. I remember standing, at times, in a beer lake that lapped at my ankles. Back then, both Unions held a February German Mardi Gras called Fasching. It mostly involved beer. A bus ran between the two Unions with a barrel on board, so no one would ever be far from beer. At Union South, Fasching included tossing cups of beer into the open atrium. Try that now, and you'd probably be arrested.

Union South was also the site of the worst grade I ever earned at the UW: A "C" in bowling. I still can't bowl worth a damn. Still, there were plenty of student memories made at Union South.
So stop by Saturday, and raise a last toast to the "other" Union.

Susan Smith: Gentlemen, Start Your Pumpkins!

Originally published Sept. 30, 2008

By Susan Lampert Smith

It's that time of year when giant pumpkins race across Lake Mendota, all for the glory of winning the Cucurbita Regatta, an invention of UW-Madison horticulture professors Irwin Goldman and Jim Nienhuis.

The first event, held in 2005, was such a smashing success that a pier behind Memorial Union fell apart under the weight of the spectators. dropping them into the drink.

Most years, it's only the horticulture students, racing inside hollowed out Atlantic Giant pumpkins, who stay a chance of an icy dunk.

The pumpkins float atop tractor tire inner tubes. This year the race starts at noon Saturday Oct. 4, behind Memorial Union.

Susan Smith: I'm Majoring in Beer!

Originally published Sept. 21, 2008

By Susan Lampert Smith

It makes so much sense I can't believe it took 160 years. But, finally, the University of Wisconsin-Madison will have a course in beermaking. Thanks to a gift from MillerCoors, the UW is launching its first ever beer-making class, as part of the department of bacteriology.

MillerCoors donated a pilot-sized brewery to the UW this past week, which will be used in a new class on "fermentation science."

The equipment is worth more than $100,000, and this past summer, bacteriology faculty associate Jon Roll and a lucky student named (only in Wisconsin) Brandy Day, got to go to Milwaukee and learn from MillerCoors' master brewmaker.

The gift is, in the university's words " the beginning of an ongoing relationship between members of the university'smicrobiology community and experts at the MillerCoors Milwaukee brewery."
Of course, UW students and beer have had a relationship much, much older.

For all the worry about binge drinking on campus, maybe teaching the science of good beer will lead to a more, um, sober appreciation of its attributes.

Susan Smith: A Birthday for Big Mac, another burger for Don

Originally published Sept. 14, 2008

By Susan Lampert Smith

Is there something about junk food that brings out the obsessiveness? I only ask because, right in time for the 40th birthday of the Big Mac, word comes from our friends at the Fond du Lac Reporter that local resident Don Gorske has now eaten more than 23,000 Big Macs since he started gobbling them one a day in May 1972.

Now, I got a little sick of Don, or maybe sick from thinking about what his insides must look like, because my media pals would write about him at nearly every burger milestone. Frankly, I was waiting for his obituary, which would like show clogging of the ateries as a cause.

But now, finally, comes the reason he has not only eaten a burger a day, but also saved every burger receipt in a box. Gorske told the newspaper he has obsessive complusive disorder, and that his addiction springs as much from a love of counting things as a desire for greasy burger. He keeps all his receipts, too. Apparently, those numbers on the sign that track how many burgers McDonald's has served inspired him to count his own consumption.

Now, I could make fun of this except for this: Two-all-beef-patties-special-sauce-lettuce-cheese-pickles-onions-on-a-sesame-seed-bun.

What's that? It's a McDonald's Big Mac jingle from the 1970s, and it's still stuck in my head. Back then, if you went to a McDonald's, and could recite the ingredient jingle, you got a free Big Mac. I did it. And it was so long ago that there wasn't even a McDonald's in Fort Atkinson -- Imagine, a town too small for McDonald's! -- so we had to travel to Whitewater to sing the song and get the free burger. The weird thing is that I haven't had more than a few Big Macs in my life, and none in the last decade, yet the jingle will likely be with me until death.

So look down on Don Gorske and his burger madness, if you like, but remember that there's probably a crazed Hamburglar hiding out in every one of us.

Susan Smith: U-Rah-Rah Wisconsin Life Sciences Communications

Originally published Sept. 6, 2008

By Susan Lampert Smith

On a great day for Badger football, let's pause to give thanks to the department that educates so many of our athletes. Yes, I'm talking about my home department, formerly known as Ag Journalism and now, Life Sciences Communications.

If you were at the game, you saw many of our students. In the writing class I teach, I've had quarterback Allan Evridge, fullback and co-captain Chris Pressley, co-captain and All-Big Ten lineman Kraig Urbik, as well as cornerback Alan Langford, and a host of others. I've had a lot of band members, too, including current trumpet rank leader Sara Schoenborn.

But why so many athletes? One theory is that it started when professor (and popular Wisconsin Public Radio host) Larry Meiller was on the athletic board, and the coaches started sending their players to him for guidance. Over the years, I've had students who are now in the NBA and NFL, as well as many more working for agricultural businesses around the country.

Life Sciences Communications is also celebrating its 100th anniversary this weekend. It began in Hiram Smith Hall as the department of agricultural journalism, but changes its name in recent years to reflect the growing influence of the life sciences (such as genetics and biochemistry) in the college. This year, the department moved from its long-time home on Henry Mall to the newly renovated HIram Smith (which still retains vestiges of its years as the cheesemaking school).

Some prominent Life Sciences Communications graduates include Abdul Khan, assistant director general for communication at UNESCO, and Dennis Dimick, executive editor of National Geographic. And, of course, your humble blogger.

Susan Smith: Stephen Colbert on the Union Terrace! (Kind of)

Originally published Aug. 10, 2008

By Susan Lampert Smith

Everyone shows up on the Memorial Union Terrace on a fine Friday afternoon.

It was a little too early for Mayor Dave Cieslewicz's weekly field trip, but comedian and political commentator Stephen Colbert made an appearance.

OK, just by phone. But still it was cool.

Your Wisconsin Native columnist was lunching with Newsweek senior editor (and frequent "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" guest) Jonathan Alter, his wife, Emily Lazar, and their two younger kids. They were in town because their son is looking at Wisconsin as a college choice.
And, of course, yours truly is an expert on all things UW, from the Statue of Liberty on the ice days of the 1970s up to and including the Halloween celebration and the current price for UW football tickets on eBay.

Anyway, Emily is, as her husband says, "a fake journalist,'' and her boss, Stephen Colbert gave her a ring because he wanted husband Jon Alter to give him a phone number for Rahm Emaunel.
Turns out that Colbert wanted to warn the Chicago congressman and Dem party mover that he'll be tweaking the Dems and their convention on Monday's show.

The word will be "Catharsis." You heard it here first. See, you don't ever have to leave the terrace. The world will come to you!